UNBOUNDED LOVE
(From the dairy of a mother on Mother’s Day.)
Author: Dr.Rachanaa Datey
Scientists and the developmental psychologists claim that the learning process starts at a stage when the baby is in the mother’s womb itself. Interestingly the Indian traditional texts also emphasize this as evident from scriptural references. Abhimanyu (Arjuna’s son) learns the art of penetrating the chakravyuha when he was in Subhadra’s womb. Rishi Yajnavalkya gets the supreme knowledge from his father when he was in his mother’s womb. Bhakt Prahlada attained supreme Viṣṇu Bhakti when Muni Narad taught this to his mother queen Kayadhu. What one learns from the parents especially mother, in the formative phases of life provides firm foundation and continues to influence other phases.
My idea and definition of Parenting (alternatively motherhood) is- It a process of transferring values, culture, and knowledge from one generation to the next .Traditionally, ‘sociability’ is one of the important values the parents (like me) nurture in their children, where they enlighten to live cordially with other fellow beings and thus the magnificent ‘joint family system’ flourished in our country since the time unknown, which is just ‘one roof’ for great grandfather, great grandmother, grandmother, grandfather, father, mother, uncles, aunts, sons, daughters, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, granddaughters, grandsons, nephews, and nieces
When I first held my son in my arms, perhaps in the first minute of Great Spirit’s manifestation on earth in this tiny body, my heart knew his earth name…I will call him Aaryan. Thus, this invisible Truth, now bound in ‘form,’ acquired a ‘name’. The little bundle of mass, mind and consciousness in my arms became ‘Aaryan’ to the world.
(NOW) My son is smart youth, of 18 years. His mind, a confident millennial, travelled, exposed, informed, not only of civil rights but also his civic duties, with social activism and liberal consciousness enlightening his beliefs. My son has a mounting, expansive, yet universally unitive mindset and a globally progressive world culture informing his perceptions, which is apparently giving birth to lofty ideals. When I stand back and observe him, he appears to me to be no less than an intellectually evolved, mature and wise human mind.
The mental vines that bind me to him are thick with the glue of force and attachments and the control, compulsions, scripted roles, and self-defeating expectations that arise from unexamined attachments in my mind, every single time. These scripted roles (especially of me being a mother) made him experience my ‘mom-hood’ unconsciousness parading as love, care and concern (control, panic and over concern)
(RELISAZATION from my journey as a mother) When I see him as the Unbounded One, I gift myself the inner freedom to relate to my son in all new ways. The clouds seem to shed away spontaneously, and my inner sun of happiness, poise and freedom begins to shine (rather I would confess, it was shining all along, it’s just that clouds of self-ignorance had seemingly covered the sun).Then, in the right light of my own mind, I can see that we are not just another pair of worldly mom and son with rigid criteria defining and holding (but ultimately dividing) us by convention, seniority, age, generation gap, beliefs and power struggles. We become untethered spirit, no less, mutually co-existing, supporting, understanding, and celebrating both of our flights in pure potentiality.
BOUNDED AND UNBOUNDED RELATIONSHIP OF MOTHER AND SON
Bounded humans are psychologically dependent humans. They hold each other back. Unbounded humans fly and help others fly. Unbounded humans give each other much needed and strength and support to be and become what their heart desires, but to always, first and foremost, be free inside. Emotional sovereignty, any relationships (this most valuable one) that bind us in a web of expectations and obligations will sooner or later cause us to suffer.
The Vedas say that the Universal Self, “Atman”, is always one; body and mind are countless. Then, sharing such a splendid, united Self, One Consciousness manifesting in diverse bodysuits, we both, mother, and son, become united, unconditionally supportive, accepting, and equal.
Slowly my parental (Motherhood) anxiety, born from a solely material vision, dissolved and with it my brain became free of a harangue of worry and tsunami of control…. Aaryan you should, /you must, /how could you!
Then a day came when I began to secretly smile to myself, even at times when my son was making decisions I did not approve of (my brain screamed blunder, stop, no way!) … choices that my mom brain wanted to veto. (Comparing it with warlike urgency and ferocity.)
Instead, now I have learned to observe more. Every day, I offer silent blessings, I kept our growing friendship alive, our silly funny conversation flowing, our little joys alive (like a shared cup of hot coffee). I offer laidback advice (only if directly solicited) without pressure and mostly continue to trust our common (mother and Son) spirit (universal self, Atman.)
FOR ALL MOTHERS
I tried this, and I am seeing my son transform into an original, out-of-the-box musician, excellent in his chosen field of studies, conscious citizen, and a deeply caring person. Instead of arguing over small matters like we once did, we are talking like friends now. We are both learning from each other. Dear mothers! Our children are magic seeds. Let us become a garden where these magical seeds can do their own magic. Let us allow the magic… and not fear it, suppress it, control it or claim it …SHALL WE?
HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY!
Scientists and the developmental psychologists claim that the learning process starts at a stage when the baby is in the mother’s womb itself. Interestingly the Indian traditional texts also emphasize this as evident from scriptural references. Abhimanyu (Arjuna’s son) learns the art of penetrating the chakravyuha when he was in Subhadra’s womb. Rishi Yajnavalkya gets the supreme knowledge from his father when he was in his mother’s womb. Bhakt Prahlada attained supreme Viṣṇu Bhakti when Muni Narad taught this to his mother queen Kayadhu. What one learns from the parents especially mother, in the formative phases of life provides firm foundation and continues to influence other phases.
My idea and definition of Parenting (alternatively motherhood) is- It a process of transferring values, culture, and knowledge from one generation to the next .Traditionally, ‘sociability’ is one of the important values the parents (like me) nurture in their children, where they enlighten to live cordially with other fellow beings and thus the magnificent ‘joint family system’ flourished in our country since the time unknown, which is just ‘one roof’ for great grandfather, great grandmother, grandmother, grandfather, father, mother, uncles, aunts, sons, daughters, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, granddaughters, grandsons, nephews, and nieces
When I first held my son in my arms, perhaps in the first minute of Great Spirit’s manifestation on earth in this tiny body, my heart knew his earth name…I will call him Aaryan. Thus, this invisible Truth, now bound in ‘form,’ acquired a ‘name’. The little bundle of mass, mind and consciousness in my arms became ‘Aaryan’ to the world.
(NOW) My son is smart youth, of 18 years. His mind, a confident millennial, travelled, exposed, informed, not only of civil rights but also his civic duties, with social activism and liberal consciousness enlightening his beliefs. My son has a mounting, expansive, yet universally unitive mindset and a globally progressive world culture informing his perceptions, which is apparently giving birth to lofty ideals. When I stand back and observe him, he appears to me to be no less than an intellectually evolved, mature and wise human mind.
The mental vines that bind me to him are thick with the glue of force and attachments and the control, compulsions, scripted roles, and self-defeating expectations that arise from unexamined attachments in my mind, every single time. These scripted roles (especially of me being a mother) made him experience my ‘mom-hood’ unconsciousness parading as love, care and concern (control, panic and over concern)
(RELISAZATION from my journey as a mother) When I see him as the Unbounded One, I gift myself the inner freedom to relate to my son in all new ways. The clouds seem to shed away spontaneously, and my inner sun of happiness, poise and freedom begins to shine (rather I would confess, it was shining all along, it’s just that clouds of self-ignorance had seemingly covered the sun).Then, in the right light of my own mind, I can see that we are not just another pair of worldly mom and son with rigid criteria defining and holding (but ultimately dividing) us by convention, seniority, age, generation gap, beliefs and power struggles. We become untethered spirit, no less, mutually co-existing, supporting, understanding, and celebrating both of our flights in pure potentiality.
BOUNDED AND UNBOUNDED RELATIONSHIP OF MOTHER AND SON
Bounded humans are psychologically dependent humans. They hold each other back. Unbounded humans fly and help others fly. Unbounded humans give each other much needed and strength and support to be and become what their heart desires, but to always, first and foremost, be free inside. Emotional sovereignty, any relationships (this most valuable one) that bind us in a web of expectations and obligations will sooner or later cause us to suffer.
The Vedas say that the Universal Self, “Atman”, is always one; body and mind are countless. Then, sharing such a splendid, united Self, One Consciousness manifesting in diverse bodysuits, we both, mother, and son, become united, unconditionally supportive, accepting, and equal.
Slowly my parental (Motherhood) anxiety, born from a solely material vision, dissolved and with it my brain became free of a harangue of worry and tsunami of control…. Aaryan you should, /you must, /how could you!
Then a day came when I began to secretly smile to myself, even at times when my son was making decisions I did not approve of (my brain screamed blunder, stop, no way!) … choices that my mom brain wanted to veto. (Comparing it with warlike urgency and ferocity.)
Instead, now I have learned to observe more. Every day, I offer silent blessings, I kept our growing friendship alive, our silly funny conversation flowing, our little joys alive (like a shared cup of hot coffee). I offer laidback advice (only if directly solicited) without pressure and mostly continue to trust our common (mother and Son) spirit (universal self, Atman.)
FOR ALL MOTHERS
I tried this, and I am seeing my son transform into an original, out-of-the-box musician, excellent in his chosen field of studies, conscious citizen, and a deeply caring person. Instead of arguing over small matters like we once did, we are talking like friends now. We are both learning from each other. Dear mothers! Our children are magic seeds. Let us become a garden where these magical seeds can do their own magic. Let us allow the magic… and not fear it, suppress it, control it or claim it …SHALL WE?
HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY!